Today, I received a letter from Lawrence Community Management, Inc.. This is the third such letter I have received in the 18 months that I have been a tenant at 1590 Cedarwood D. The letter conveys a complaint received by the management. Although the letters do not disclose the originator of the complaints, my roommates and I are of strong opinion that they come from our next-door neighbor, Theresa Bialowas, whose name results in a measly 4 hits from Google, none of which appear to be connected to her persona. In my opinion, this makes her a techno-neanderthal, among other distasteful things.
The letter states that there were, “several incidents of loud music, video game playing, and pounding against the wall.” Also, it reminds us that we still have Christmas decorations hanging up outside and “the Christmas season has long been over.” All of these allegations are true, except for the pounding against the wall, and the fact that the Christmas season is over, which is surely a debatable point. None of us are sure where the “pounding” one came from.
I would like to publicly thank the originator of the complaints for exercising their right to suppress our sundry celebrations and expressions of joy. There is little doubt in my mind that this neighbor must spend time reflecting on their luckiness, since our idea of a wild Saturday evening involves “video game incidents.” For three single guys, aged 23 or so, the complainer must indeed be grateful that there are no parties or drunken brawls taking place next door, and that the loud noises don’t come much more than once a month.
It’s altogether humorous to see language expressing concern about “incidents of video game playing” and the occasional seasonal faux-pas, which, in my opinion, is eerily reminiscent of some fascist propaganda. The intent of the letter is not funny, however, and we have systematically enacted a taskforce to remove offending decorations. We are also researching the feasibility of constructing a wall made entirely of Bose noise-cancelling headphones, for those occasions when we decide to stay up past midnight.
If neighbors in suburban condominium associations are all like this, it’s no wonder young people don’t live in Westlake.